


A Vampire Romance

by pushkin666



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Crack, Ficlet, M/M, Purple Prose, Vampires, broadstairs bacchanalia, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:12:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4838183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushkin666/pseuds/pushkin666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack and deliberate purple prose - this is silly people.</p><p>It was a dark and stormy night when the mighty Prince of the dwarves - Thorin the Twin Fanged, descended upon the Shire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Vampire Romance

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the Broadstairs Bacchanalia 2015 writing exercise where we had to write a fic to a randomly picked fandom (The Hobbit in my case), and prompt (mine was vampire AU) but we had to make it as purple as possible. This was also written over about a 20 minute period and is very silly. Enjoy!!

It was a dark and stormy night when the mighty Prince of the dwarves - Thorin the Twin Fanged, descended upon the Shire. Thunder and lightning crackled all around him, lighting him up, the light shining on his pearly white fangs and alabaster skin.

His vampire hoard had arrived before him and were indulging themselves at the expense of the hobbit they were visiting. When Thorin’s midnight black gaze met the burnished bronze curls and shimmering cerulean eyes of the hobbit he knew. When he heard the pumping heart, smelt his mate’s thick vibrant blood he knew that this was the one. His Other Half! His Soulmate! His One and Only! His Curly Haired Enchanter! The Blood to his Fangs!.

He threw back his mane of silken hair and drew the hobbit to him, pressing their bodies together, hard icy rippling muscles to soft warm hobbit flesh and Bilbo moaned ecstatically at his touch. The sound of bells rang in his head and his heart leaped in joy at the touch and aromatic smell of his one true love. Finally his life was complete!

“My One and Only,” he gasped through pointed fangs as Bilbo shone glowing eyes upon him.


End file.
